I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize