What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
