Your mouth is God's brothel.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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