i jhust puked up my retainher.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
this boner is exhausting
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
