i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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