He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
