white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
