at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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