Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
