I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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