So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
