is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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