drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
