If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Never joke about your clitoris.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
