so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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