I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
