Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
