Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
