seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My ATM looks so different sober.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
