Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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