After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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