Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
