Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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