I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
