This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
