So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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