Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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