The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
