i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
