She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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