I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
