But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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