Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
