I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
