I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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