we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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