I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize