If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
