the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
zippers are such a cool invention
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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