Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
