Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
