do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
