some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
