I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
