the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
