Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
