I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
