It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
