dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
