You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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