I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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