just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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