Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
