At least make sure they are 18
Why
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
