my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
