Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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