google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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