what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
